Excreta — I had never spent much time thinking about it until I started digging into Matt Inman’s website, and realized that he, a very smart guy indeed (in a bad way), is really into it! It’s everywhere, and in great variety. This explains the uniformity of the mental content of people who are big Inman fans. I examined the outpourings of Paul Levy of Public Citizen Litigation Group, Ken White of Popehat, Ann Bransom, a Popehat acolyte, Nate Anderson of Ars Technica, Joe Donatelli, flamous all by himself, Corynne McSherry of EFF, and Christopher Recouvreur.

There’s no difference among them, because Matt is pumping pure 100% shit through every one of them. In fact, if you can face the awful truth, you can just back up a truck to his place, and haul it away by the dumpster load. But shit-eaters have their brand loyalties. Most people like to eat shit that comes out of a nice, familiar face, so that’s why you can pay a lot, a little, or just eat free at Matt’s Shit Fo’ Brains! You might as well just eat Recouvreur’s free logs, because the nutritional content is no different than Levy’s Poop Platter. It’s all a matter of preparation and texture. While Corynne McSherry’s Fart Tart is indeed as light as air, it will stay with you for a long time. And even though Nate Anderson’s Crap Bisque at first seems pedestrian and devoid of all true coprophiliac panache, eventually you realize that this is true of all the food at Matt’s Shit Fo’ Brains. It’s just crap, any way you slice it.

Eat at Matt [Inman’s] Shit Fo’ Brains, by Tara Carreon

Menu:
[Public] Citizen [Paul] Levy’s Poop Platter ………. $79.99
Popecrap in Ken [Paul] White Sauce ……………… $49.99
Ann Bransom Diarrhea Souffle …………………….  $19.99
Nate Anderson’s Crap Bisque ……………………..   $29.99
Joe Donatelli’s Anal Trifle ……………………,…… $ 3.99
Corynne McSherry’s Fart Tart ……………………… $16.99
Chris Recouvreur’s Big Logs ………………………. $ Free
100% PURE SHIT
TECHDIRT FREE DELIVERY

Rapeutation.com

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Notes:

God Loves a Hypocrite, by Charles Carreon

When you look on this world
Filled with sadness and grief
You might think that death
Is your only relief
But if you could just learn
To lie through your teeth
You wouldn’t have to eat hamburger,
You’d dine on prime beef
Instead of smokin’ shake,
You’d be tokin’ fine spleef

Cause God loves a hypocrite
Sure as you’re born
And a lie’s the best shelter
From blame and scorn
The truth’s just plain trouble,
But don’t look so forlorn,
Just start spewin’ bullshit
You’ll find shelter from the storm

Some people are blessed
With a flexible tongue
That they occupy
With spreading cowdung
Whether lobbyists, lawyers,
Judges or thieves,
They make a fine dollar
From social disease
They all stand around
And share pats on the back
So glad to be one
Of such a fine bunch of chaps

Cause God loves a hypocrite
Sure as you’re born
And a lie’s the best shelter
From blame and scorn
The truth’s just plain trouble,
But don’t look so forlorn,
Just start spewin’ bullshit
You’ll find shelter from the storm

Some think that lying
Won’t take you that far,
But to get someplace these days
You don’t drive a car
You fire up a printing press
And co-opt TV,
Rig polls and elections
Pay folks to deceive —
When the votes are all counted
What a surprise!
The one who wins
Is the one who lies.

Cause God loves a hypocrite
Sure as you’re born
And a lie’s the best shelter
From blame and scorn
The truth’s just plain trouble,
But don’t look so forlorn,
Just start spewin’ bullshit
You’ll find shelter from the storm